Overcoming my Addiction to Pleasing People.
Anyone else reading this addicted to Pleasing People? Well I can tell you that I sure am. Yes I said am. God is still working on me. Today let's explore People Pleasing. Why we do it. Why we are addicted to it. And what we can do to Overcome it TOGETHER! I am gonna get real and real raw with you gals today!
Growing up my people pleasing addiction started with my Dad. I wanted to please him. I wanted him to sing my praises. Then one day he decided to leave. I know I know there is much more than a "he decided" but for the sake of this Blog and the fact that I was 12 that is how I felt. What this did to my people pleasing gene (yes we all have one) is make it grow to turn into a people pleasing addiction. Specifically Men in general.
This is not healthy. This is something that I have to fight on the daily. I have to step back and look at my day and say to myself. Self did you live today to please Man or did you live today to please God. Take a look at the Bible, the Disciples in particular. They left behind everything and everyone and followed Jesus. I can tell you right now that there were people dogging them for leaving. Talking bad about them left and right. But they were not in the people pleasing business they were in the God pleasing Business.
I was in a situation with a Boss/Leader that was so oppressing for me. Looking back now I can say that it was a lot me. He played his part and did some damage too but my unhealthy relationship with him is mostly to blame. I know that you all are going to a different place but I am talking about unhealthy in the way that I wanted him to sing my praises. I wanted to be the best. I wanted to be the number one Servant. I wanted to be the number one well Everything. I would jump when I was asked to do anything. I would never say no. I wanted to be asked to do more. To the point of neglecting my relationship with God, my husband, my kids, my friends, my family and more. Are you noticing a trend? "I wanted" I was caught up in pleasing a man instead of Pleasing GOD. I wanted to hear Well Done here on earth. I recognize this now that I am removed from the unhealthy situation. In this particular instance I did quit. I removed myself completely from this situation. It is what I needed and I am so much healthier for it.
Let's talk about what I do on the daily to combat this addiction that I have.
Pray. I pray that God would make me aware when I step into a situation and try and please someone besides HIM! You see I want to live for Him not for my Pastor, Teacher, Leader, Boss. I want to Glorify HIM in all I say and do. I also pray that He would open my eyes to those around me that are living in the addiction of People Pleasing. I do this because I get those people, and I want to pray for them specifically so that they can overcome their addiction.
Evaluate my actions. I take a look at what I do and say (and don't say) and make sure that It is for God's Glory not for Mans attention.
Learn from my people pleasing words and actions. Well so when I do that evaluating I am going to find that I did something that involved my P.P.A. So I recognize that behavior and then I pray and ask God to help me overcome that specific thing and not to do it again. Saying No is ok. Stop and think about it.
Why is it so important that I don't live each day to please people? Because I just might miss my purpose here if I am working to please a person instead of working to please my Heavenly Father. He is doing a work in me in this area and helping me overcome my addiction. Let's lock arms ladies and do fight this addiction together. ALL FOR HIS GLORY!
God I pray for the woman reading this. I pray that you would open her eyes to her people pleasing tendencies and help her to see where she needs to work to please YOU. Give her Wisdom on how to go about this. Give her strength to push through. I thank you for the Victories that are coming in her life!
In Jesus Name
Love your Sis
And so it Begins.......
Well here goes Everything! I know the saying is nothing, but I am saying everything because that is how I roll. I am a hundred and ten percent all in! My goal in this blog is to Encourage Women across the globe to Jump in and show up in their lives. So many times we walk around and just let life happen to us instead of getting up every day and decide that we are going to Live on Purpose with Purpose. I want to be your number one cheerleader. I want to help you succeed in anything and everything you put your heart, mind, and soul into! Ok? Well On Your Mark, Get Set, GO!
Lets talk Relationships Y'all!
They are HARD! For Reals! Specifically today I am going to get real, Raw, and honest about Marriage. My husband and I met when I was 12. Yes 12. We have been together for 24 years. Now that you put your calculators down and know how old I am lets talk about what this means. This means that we learned to communicate with each other when we were Pre-Teens. (I need to be able to insert emojis here) Now that my Son is a full on pre-teen I am learning so much more about my relationship with my hubs of 18 years and why communication has been such a huge struggle for us. My son is so emotional and stubborn and thinks he knows everything and would argue with a brick wall about the wall being orange. When in real life it is red. Y'all for real my son is my husbands twin. The hubs and I have fought to communicate better year after year. There has been A LOT of fighting y'all. A LOT. But there has been a lot of learning too. I want to share just one tool we have learned.
We HAVE to fight fair!
For the longest we would fight and fight and get nowhere. Neither one of us could see things from another perspective. Ok truth is we did not choose to even think about the others perspective because we were too caught up in our own views of the situation. Have you ever done that with God? Think about it. We pray and pray and pray and talk to God and we get so mad at Him because we think He is not listening when all along He is listening and showing you the way but you can't get out of "Your View" enough to see/hear what He is doing? No? Me either lol. Well that is what Shane and I have learned to do with each other. We have learned to move past our frustration and view of what is happening and really listen to what the other has to say and how they see it instead of playing the blame game and getting nowhere. OK so don't go thinking WOW they have a perfect marriage. NO BRO! We still fight but we have a code word that takes us from the blame game or frustration point and causes us to take a step back and see the others view/perspective. I would tell you the word but umm no. LOL So I encourage you to open up to your spouse while you are not in a fight and say "Lets talk about how we fight" why not y'all?!?! Let's build Healthy Relationships TOGETHER. One Day at a time. One Choice at a time. One FIGHT at a time. Your Marriage is worth this conversation. Get a Code Word. Start Listening, really Listening. Often, there is a underlying frustration that has nothing to do with the actual thing you are fighting about.
God I pray that you would Bless the Marriage of every woman reading this! I pray that you would begin mending their relationships with their husbands starting TODAY. Starting Right this Second. Help them to learn to fight Fair! -In Jesus Name I pray-Amen
Love your Sis,